Feedback

I am whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would you say I am?

Is it crazy that I'm beginning to see profundity in Eminem's lyrics? I recently heard that someone who interviewed me for a job (which incidentally, I didn't get) referred to me as a firebrand, a go-getter. Once I heard that, my (admittedly unnatural) diffidence vanished and I felt like a firebrand, a go-getter. What still bothered me was why, if the interviewer really thought I was the cat's pyjamas, did I not get the job? You were probably over qualified, my boss said. My confidence soared.

So clearly, what people think of you affects what you think of yourself.

Look at the diagram below: it's a feedback loop.Let's assume that G is who we are, K is feedback and H is who we can be. Now K can be positive, negative or zero. So you can see that positive feedback makes us better than who we are, negative feedback makes us less than who we are and zero feedback doesn't change a damn thing.

Which begs the question: Should we avoid all negative feedback and hang out exclusively with people who glorify us? The answer is no. Because if you look at the equation above, you can see that K should always be a fraction such that GK is less than one. If feedback is greater than who you are, ie GK is greater than one, then H is negative. You become less than nothing. So yes, while feedback can shape who you are, it's important not to let it overpower you. Because that will ultimately destroy you.

Also, I'd like to point out that negative feedback may not necessarily be a bad thing. If you're trumpeting excessively loudly (like in the second paragraph of this post) then a little diminishing of the ego may be just what you need.

What if K reaches the magical number of 1/G? In that case, I think you've been lucky enough to find yourself a mentor, a counsellor, a guide. Someone who will help you reach infinity.