in this stupid office

my cube is in such a weird place that everyone always walks by me...

and while they do, they take a quick peek...

(especially the indian guys..)

and they see me...

laughing at what someone said on gtalk..

biting into an apple...

frowning as i try to decipher c's demands..

writing lots of numbers on my notepad..

but mostly..

staring wistfully at the wall..

thinking of you...

Gladwell on Groups

We have a saying my boss said, as we talked about the latest hook-up at work, "Don't eat where you crap." Well this makes me wonder...

Theories - two of them

I figured this out very recently and I'm surprised it took me this long. In order to get high, you need to be relaxed and receptive. When I say high, I mean like a happy high. If you're all taut and stressed out, you end up skipping the happy high bit and getting straight to smashed. The worst part about that is when it happens, you're never prepared for it. You're drinking and drinking and wham! you hit the floor.

My second theory (unrelated to the first) is that women shape the dynamics in any group. It's like this, for two guys to be friends all they need is an activity in common. So by and large, guys get along well with other guys. Actually even if two guys hate each other's guts, they'll still be able to hang out together peacefully. No male bonding and all that, but they can (and frequently will) spend reasonable amounts of time with each other. Women on the other hand, have infinite issues with each other. If they all get along well, then joy! That makes for a happy group. But if they don't... Then the bitchiness between two women spreads to the rest of the group and it creates cliques and factions and generally messes up things.

So guys, if your girlfriend doesn't like your best bud's girlfriend, stop right there! Keep the women away from each other and all will be well.

Amen

I miss you!!

“Evil ice cream schemes”, Plum said solemnly.

“Huh?” I was busy trying to figure out a heat transfer coefficient and listening to her with just half an ear.

“Evil ice cream schemes”, she repeated. “She sends out all these ice cream thoughts and then everyone feels like going out for ice cream and then she goes with them and eats and eats and gets fatter and fatter. And she’s already so fat ”

“Who’re you talking about?” I asked mystified.

“Her”, Plum said reproachfully.

Violation

I wonder how muses feel about being the subject of sexually explicit art. Are they expected to feel flattered?

I'd feel degraded.

Subjectivity

I've been meaning to check out a photography exhibition at a museum nearby. I was interested because they said the photos were all polaroids and I was wondering how creative you could get with polaroids. Turns out, not very. It was a Robert Mapplethorpe exhibition. I hadn't heard of him before but apparently he's pretty well known in the field of photography. He was a painter who turned to photography. He bought a polaroid camera to capture images that he would later paint, but he was so fascinated by the medium that after dabbling in it for a few years he turned to it completely. The exhibition was of the polaroids he took in that interim period. He was bisexual and there's a strong homoerotic current running through all his work. The photographs when they first came out were scandalous and much of his fame (and notoriety) derives from that. I was wondering how large a role sensationalism plays when it comes to artists. If many of his photographs weren't of such a sexual nature, would he have been as famous?

A friend of mine was dissing the Oscars the other day. He claimed that they were too liberal. His contention was that Sean Penn didn't get an Oscar for brilliant acting. He got it for really good acting in a film about gay rights. He's probably right, but if you think about it, the Academy is based in California, which is about as left wing as you can get. So it's natural that people feel strongly about films that have liberal themes. And naturally, people are going to be moved by films about issues they feel strongly about. His claim was that as judges they should be neutral. But when it comes to art, can you really be objective? I don't think so.

So while Mapplethorpe's photography is really good, perhaps it's okay to elevate him to greatness simply because he was bold enough to portray homosexuality at a time when no one else dared to.

Feedback

I am whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would you say I am?

Is it crazy that I'm beginning to see profundity in Eminem's lyrics? I recently heard that someone who interviewed me for a job (which incidentally, I didn't get) referred to me as a firebrand, a go-getter. Once I heard that, my (admittedly unnatural) diffidence vanished and I felt like a firebrand, a go-getter. What still bothered me was why, if the interviewer really thought I was the cat's pyjamas, did I not get the job? You were probably over qualified, my boss said. My confidence soared.

So clearly, what people think of you affects what you think of yourself.

Look at the diagram below: it's a feedback loop.Let's assume that G is who we are, K is feedback and H is who we can be. Now K can be positive, negative or zero. So you can see that positive feedback makes us better than who we are, negative feedback makes us less than who we are and zero feedback doesn't change a damn thing.

Which begs the question: Should we avoid all negative feedback and hang out exclusively with people who glorify us? The answer is no. Because if you look at the equation above, you can see that K should always be a fraction such that GK is less than one. If feedback is greater than who you are, ie GK is greater than one, then H is negative. You become less than nothing. So yes, while feedback can shape who you are, it's important not to let it overpower you. Because that will ultimately destroy you.

Also, I'd like to point out that negative feedback may not necessarily be a bad thing. If you're trumpeting excessively loudly (like in the second paragraph of this post) then a little diminishing of the ego may be just what you need.

What if K reaches the magical number of 1/G? In that case, I think you've been lucky enough to find yourself a mentor, a counsellor, a guide. Someone who will help you reach infinity.

Snowboarding

That's me.
Those of you who don't know me might think I'm an experienced snowboarder executing a stunning backflip.
Those of you who do, will realise that this diagram (drawn using the oh-so-versatile mspaint) shows me flat on my back.
I fell backwards. The snowboard was strapped on to only one foot and hence rotated (see blue arrow for angle of rotation), viciously twisting my knee in the process. I'm covered in bruises, find it painful to sit and my once confident stride is now a hobble.
I'm going snowboarding again next weekend.